The REAL Vegas, from a REAL Vegas cocktail waitress
Dear Mark,
I am planning on moving to Las Vegas this summer. Though I have no
gaming experience, I have been a cocktail waitress here in Chicago for
the past seven years, and would be doing the same in Vegas until I find
something else that interests me. Would you know if there are any
special requirements up-front to getting a job as a cocktail waitress
in Nevada? Katie S.
Vodka tonic, Bloody Mary, “Grey Goose, must be,” three Coronas, and
out! This is Cocktailese, taken from a source laden with information
that even Yours Truly, with 18 years on the inside, didn’t know, nor
would he ever have known had he not come across the following web site
http://www.cocktaildoll.com. So now, to answer your question:
Readers of this column know that with tens of thousands of
gaming-related web sites, I rarely, if ever recommend any. Not that
they are unworthy of mention, but, the last time I did, I was hit with
an e-mail avalanche saying “Hey, don’t forget my web site, too.”
Ah, but I’ll take a mailbox full of requests for this exception. Dollie
(not her real name) is a REAL cocktail waitress in Las Vegas, and has
put together a “nothing held back” insider’s look at the gambling
industry from a cocktail server’s perspective. To answer you
specifically, Katie, Dollie will tell you that before you get started
you will need two work cards: a health card and an alcohol awareness
card, she gives you heads-up that drug tests are mandatory, she shoots
you the low-down on how joining the Culinary Union will help you
tremendously when applying for a job, and she alerts you that they run
a background check on you, including a credit report.
With all the behind-the-bar tittle-tattle she has at her web site,
even my wife, a casino service employee most of her adult life, learned
plenty. Like Dollie, she too believes she is rarely wrong when it comes
to weeding out casino riffraff!
One exception though, she did marry me.
By the way, per Dollie, at her must-read tipping-tips page, “must be”
means that when a certain premium brand of alcohol is ordered, it "must
be" the real thing. For example, sometimes when a waitress orders a
premium vodka like Grey Goose, the bartender will give her a less
expensive brand such as Absolut or even generic vodka. But if the
waitress says, "Grey Goose, must be," then the bartender will give her
the real thing. As for “out!” well, you’ll have to check out her web
site for a hilarious narrative on what that means.
Yes, readers, a complimentary drink like Grey Goose can be had for
nothin’, but as Dollie, and every waitress I have ever known will say;
“The drinks may be free but the service is not.” So, if you’re going to
stiff the cocktail waitress, plan on drinking Shadow Spit in lieu of
Grey Goose.
Dear Mark,
My wife and I disagree on what to hold in a video poker Jacks-or-better
game pertaining to the royal flush. I believe you have said always hold
3-to-a-royal. She agrees, unless a 10 is involved. She only wants to
hold the 2 face cards. Who is right? Mike S.
You are, Mike, as three suited cards to a royal, even with a 10, is a
hand superior to a mere two suited face cards. Besides, a royal flush
is not the only hand in the offing by holding all three; you are still
in the hunt to make a flush, a straight (inside or open ended), and a
straight flush by holding 3-to-a-royal.
Gambling quote of the week: Can one even as much as touch a gambling
table without becoming immediately infected with superstition? Fyodor
Dostoevsky, The Gambler (1867)
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